Too Young to Die

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Jamiroquai - Too Young To Die (Long Album Version)

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Simply watch and send your underword review to twocents at cinapse. Trey Lawson :. Never Too Young To Die is somehow both the quintessential 80s action flick and also wholly, weirdly unique. It is what one might call late-era Bondsploitation — a spy-fi action romp dealing in tropes and types made popular by the previous 20ish years of James Bond dominating the genre in pop culture.

Robert Englund even makes a brief appearance as a henchman! But that camp is inescapably linked to a kind of sneering, homophobic gay panic that threatens to drain the fun out of his scenes. However, its willingness to resort to particularly unpleasant stereotypes, even to cartoonish ends, prevent Never Too Young To Die from achieving 80s cult movie greatness. That said, I sort of want to double feature it with Gymkata. Not just because of Gene Simmons horrifying performance as inter-sex villian Velvet Von Ragnar though that alone might cause people to avoid this film.

The film suffers because, despite promising some truly screwball, off the wall excitement, it drags in multiple places. Yes, it is funny thinking someone like Stamos even had a life before Full House, but not that funny. The action is weak, and the goofs are only mildly amusing, especially if you find the spectacle of Simmons scenery chewing performance more corny than camp.

There is of course the subtext of the film. This status, as an agent of the state, justifies any other failure the movie hints at. Stamos finds the resolve to fight the forces of chaos the left not by training or courage or anything attainable, but simply by remembering who he is. If the film were not so ridiculous the fascist undertones would be outrageous. Comedy Sci-Fi. Messenger of Death Action Crime Mystery.

A Denver reporter investigates the mass murder of a family of Mormons in rural Colorado.

Too Young to Die

One Dark Night Miami Connection Stars: Y. Kim, Vincent Hirsch, Joseph Diamand. Deadly Prey Evil Ed Comedy Horror. Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things Killing American Style Edit Cast Cast overview, first billed only: John Stamos Lance Stargrove Vanity Danja Deering Gene Simmons Drew Stargrove Peter Kwong Cliff Ed Brock Pyramid John Anderson Arliss Robert Englund Riley Tara Buckman Sacrificed Punkette Curtis Taylor Barton Jon Greene Coach Madsen Tim Colceri Grady John Miranda Wilder Patrick Wright Exploding Biker Gary Kasper Wrestler as Gary F.

Edit Storyline Velvet Von Ragner is a powerful murderous psychopathic gang leader, but also a hermaphrodite who prides himself of being both a man and a woman. Taglines: Vanity: the new breed of temptress! Stamos: the new breed of hero! Language: English. Runtime: 97 min. Sound Mix: Dolby. Color: Color Metrocolor.

Too Young to Die? - Wikipedia

Edit Did You Know? Trivia John Stamos took gymnastic lessons for his role as Lance Stargrove. A program disk was stolen from me, Stargrove.

I believe you've got it. Drew Stargrove : Come on. This is stupid. Velvet Von Ragnar : You're right. It's VERY stupid. Assuming, of course, you want to see your son. Drew Stargrove : What kind of designer-drug are you on? How is Lance mixed up in all this? Drew Stargrove : Lance doesn't have a clue about my work!

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Velvet Von Ragnar : Nor did his mother, but that didn't save her.